When I was contemplating leaving the corporate grind, my mind would regularly drift to what, where, or how I would take the next steps. I knew that I needed some space to consider what that looked like in reality, and for me getting on a flight to a world far from your own in distance but also in culture is the best way to gain perspective. I’ve always dreamed of what India would be like - with it’s bright colours, tightly knit communities, strong traditions and wild nature. Anyone who loves the practise of Yoga must also feel a strong draw to experience the practise in India, where asana takes a backseat and Yoga constitutes much more of a way of life.

So, after my time in Kenya I booked a one way flight to Mumbai - with big dreams of exploring the West coast down to Kerala. The trip was planned around a course I wanted to complete; having fallen in love with Mandala Yoga in the London studios, I embarked on the adventure that I’m about to describe here in detail.

Mandala Vinyasa (for those of you who aren’t sure) is a practise created by Dulce Mandala - a woman I am in awe of! After years of training with different styles of Yoga, she decided to create her own (as you do…) Mandala as a practise is fluid, strong, yet allows moments for people to really tangibly feel their Yoga practise. It’s rooted in the system of the 4 elements - fire, water, earth + air - which I believe provides us Westerners a much more simple framework to understand the spiritual and energetic practice of Yoga. I’ve been addicted to sharing this practise in London ever since, and if you’ve been to one of my many classes, I’m sure you’ve felt the magic too.

This course is facilitated by Dulce and her partner Nicholas (who taught the breathwork section of the course) - both pictured to the right… and Carlos (I will dive deeper into Carlos’ wisdom but for now let’s say he covered the ancient Mayan / shamanic elements of the training).

You’ll find out more about all 3 of these wonderful people as you read on. The Mandala magic for me started on this 100 hour training course, where I dived into new experiences head first.

It was an expansive time, opening myself up to totally new ideas, communities, and more - and I’m so glad I took the time to pause at the end of each day and come to my journal.

I hope you enjoy some of these words too.

Before meeting any of our group, day one kicked off with a breathwork session with Nicholas (Dulce’s partner + breathwork teacher); something we would come to look forward to every morning as our start to the day. Dropping into the space can be tricky when in a new place, with unknown surroundings, alongside 20 people you’ve never met. Nicholas instantly put us at ease and I found the slow, rhythmic breathing dancing between the inhale and exhale from both the nose and mouth to allow the mind to settle and to feel the soothing effect on the body. As my body temperature started to heat up, my arms and neck had a tingling, numbing sensation which felt peculiar. I had to remind my monkey mind to settle at various points but overall this session was calming yet powerful.

The blistering Indian heat pouring into the Yoga shala intensified through Dulce’s water Mandala class, flowing, opening, breathing, moving, feeling. As the group dynamic unfolded, connections created and synergies found. This YTT group is mainly Brits; and there is something very warming about the familiar faces, accents and conversations swimming around me after having been away for months. I feel a sense of being at home, the safety and trust with which makes conversation thoughtless and simple; like singing from the same hymn sheet.

It’s time to talk about the legend that is Carlos. A spiritual explorer, a curious intellect, passionate about not only his personal heritage but that which makes us human and that which connects us to the spirit world. We met Carlos properly first when he taught us traditional songs from Native American culture as well as group dances. He spoke wisely about transcendence, and showed us some of tools through which people access this trance state via drumming, dance, song, breath. The flow state that allows you to reconnect with another realm, going beyond the physical body and entering a trance. Something I found fascinating was his comparison of yogic theory compared with traditional Native American transcendence. In Yoga, dissolution of the ego and Self to reach a higher level of consciousness is the ultimate goal, but this is a very personal goal. Within Native American tribes, this transcendence is very much for the collective, the whole group, and so the dance and song rituals are performed together with people from all generations and backgrounds. This idea of union and of the self as part of a larger entity resonates as a beautiful concept that I feel humanity would benefit greatly from adopting. Empathy, understanding, shared experience, community are powerful ideas that stem from being part of a collective, and are missed when we see ourselves through an individual lens, separate from those and from the world around us.

As I digest and embody the experiences of the last 2 days, I anticipate that writing everything down may lead anyone reading this to question once again whether I have run away to join another cult. From my close experience to the beauty of community spending a day with the Maasai tribe in Nairobi, to my intense week of chanting and restraint in Sivananda ashram in Kerala… now I find myself on the northern beach of Goa in Mandrem taking part in shamanic rituals and ceremonies. We have learnt several ancient medicine songs and have danced around our Yoga Shala praying to the spirit gods of the elements. We have built alters, performed offerings, shared collective trauma and experience, and last night we did our first of three temazcal. A temazcal is a traditional Native American sweat lodge, usually a structure built from the branches of a willow tree curved into a dome shape to create an 8 pointed star in the middle at the centre. It is then covered with blankets to lock out the air and light, in preparation for the ceremony.

At 7pm after a day of learning, we headed down to the beach and did the opening, which attracted many onlookers curious about what was happening. We stood in a circle and each took a pinch of organic tobacco, believed to be one of the most sacred plants, and after praying or feeling an intention we placed the tobacco into the burning fire pit in the centre of the circle. The fire pit housed boiling hot stones transported all the way from Mexico, glowing orange to red and flicking sparks of light from their hot embers. The native Americans call these rocks “fire dust” and they represent the grandmother spirit, used to heat the sweat lodge and seal in the heat. Before entering the temazcal, each person must bow to hands and knees at the entrance and thank their ancestors and relationships, “a todas mis relaciones.” You then crawl clockwise in a circle through the lodge until the whole space was filled with all 22 of us. It was a small space for this many people, and I couldn’t resist an anxiousness and tightening of my throat. Once everyone was in, the “abuelitas” or grandmothers (the burning hot rocks) were passed in slowly and purposefully, each one to being thanked as it slid into the hole in the centre. A short blessing with copal and instantly the intense heat started to rise. Cross legged, I sat and contemplated once again what had brought me on this leg of my journey to learn about Mandala Vinyasa and shamanic practices.

There is something incredibly powerful about ascribing meaning to tasks and doing something for the power of the collective. Being present, aware and grateful for that which has brought you to where you are. Some people might call it “God”, but I’ve never personally felt particularly connected to traditional religion. We are all on a path and whatever it is that leads you to be somewhere, call it energy, intuition, self power, ancestors or whatever resonates with you.

If one doesn’t cultivate gratitude for these small decisions, people and experiences that come our way, then how can you expect to build a sense of moving forward? Carlos who has been our fountain of knowledge in regard to the sacred wisdom that has been passed down through generations of native Americans, is one of the most passionate, connected and humble people I’ve ever met. He truly believes in our power to come together as a community and create something bigger, something better. He told us that while there is a resurgence in regard to using ethenogens or plant medicines in todays culture, the importance lies in connecting the dots, between the ancient ancestral knowledge passed through thousands of years of storytelling, of new age experimentation and understanding, and of modern science trying to explain or bridge the gaps. That it’s not about knowing or understanding everything, but about being aware and grateful for the power these plants can provide.

How can we seek to understand everything when we are just a small part of a huge living breathing world of organisms, a microcosm of a giant macrocosm? I think we’ve made it too easy to forget that humans are simply mammals, another small part of nature, no more or no less important than the trees, roots or other animal species that we share this planet with.

We have inflated our importance on this earth which leads us often to take more than we give, to live out of sync with the natural world, and to manipulate and destroy habitats, eco systems and lands. How can we move backwards, and learn from the generations of our ancestors to rekindle that harmony?

Their wisdom has been lost in translation of time and more than ever it requires an urgent call to action to reclaim the balance so many of us have lost.

The sweat lodge lasted for 90 minutes and consisted of 4 ‘doors’ or rounds. Like a humble and resilient warrior, Carlos lead us the whole way with the sweet tones of his voice and the heartbeat of his drum. Although the pitch darkness, proximity to everyone, blistering heat and powerful noises are all intensities that were extremely testing, I put my full trust in Carlos and the community of close new allies around me and we created a bond that felt as solid as earth itself. Each round consisted of a few chants, I shook my maraca in sync with my breath to radiate a calmness and project my power outwards as a safeguard. This force field of energy projected by each individual there served to create the safest of spaces. We sang, breathed, felt, shared and held each and every soul in that temazcal tighter than I have some of those closest to me in my life before. It felt like a heavy, sacred rope tied with a tight knot of security at every person in the space.

After the fourth and final reflective round, which was the hottest and most intense but equally the shortest and most silent, we slowly wound our way out of the space once again in a clockwise direction, praying strength to each of our relations on the way out, and entering the beach. Carlos described to us that the metaphor of the lodge is like the womb of your mother, and offered the idea to leave the space feeling like you have been reborn, given another chance or a restart at whatever you intend.

As the cool air filled my lungs and I witnessed the flickering heat of the fire with the backdrop of the powerful crashing of the ocean, I felt the significance of this experience sink in. I genuinely believe that experience is what you make of it, and whilst some of these words may feel out of reach for some people reading, I challenge you to leave your ego aside and try to resonate what this might feel like for you. We can choose to ignore, or to ask these deeper questions. Why am I resisting this experience? What is not allowing me to feel these emotions? The spiritual significance and meaning ascribed to each and every movement and breath we took that night altered our state of thinking, and every single individual was on a different level of energy after exiting the temazcal that night. The whole experience finished with us hand in hand entering the ocean, and the feeling of the water lapping your feet and covering your body afterwards was indescribable with words. I felt truly at peace, present, and an overwhelming surge of gratitude. For myself, for those new connections around me, for the beautiful India, and for the decisions in my life that brought me here.

Day 4&5: Breaking Down The Elements

The Mandala Vinyasa course is based around the system of the 4 elements, with each asana practise targeting specific areas in the body relating to each element, using breathwork techniques to resonate with said element. As we got into the bones of the theory, Dulce dug into the elements and how they relate to us as individuals. Most people will have a dominant element as their personality type, sometimes with another one following close behind, and always with one as their “shadow” that they least connect with. If you’re unsure which you would be, here’s a few qualities archetypal of each element. If you resonate with most of one element, it’s likely this is what you’ll be!

Air - The Thinker
Often in their head Likes strategic thinking and problem solving Takes their time with decision making Not very connected to their emotions

Water - Feelings
Highly connected to their emotional state Know how they feel at all times Want everyone else to feel the same way they do, positive or negative Goes with the flow, easy going Can have a tendency to over share with others

Earth - The Grounded One
Happy with routine and stability Rooted, safe, secure person The one you would call in an emergency! Trustworthy, solid person Can sometimes lack motivation or drive

Fire - The Passionate One
Strong intuition Burning fiery passion The “do-er”, once they have an idea they immediately put into action Takes charge Generally like change and new experiences Find routine difficult Sometimes can be insensitive to others when blinded by their own drive to make something happen

As well as relating ourselves as individuals to an element, it’s important to consider the people you are close to and what element they might be. Understanding and delving deeper into this can help you improve communication and therefore the relationship, see things from their perspective and minimise conflict due to simply having a different way of thinking. I’ve loved learning about this and it’s given me so much food for thought.

In the spirit of new and heart opening experiences, the day after the temazcal, Carlos offered an evening cacao ceremony. During his shamanism talk in the day when speaking about plant medicine and rituals, he shared the significance in Mesoamerican tradition to the cacao plant, viewed as a “gift from the gods” and often used in ceremonies to connect with your sensitive self, honour intentions and ancestors, create shared experience and connection and much more. If I’m being honest I had no idea what to expect from the ceremony Carlos created in our yoga shala that evening, but like all things on this epic journey my mantra has been to remain open to whatever new experiences come my way.

One of my favourite moments so far was in preparation for the cacao ceremony, we spent a chunk of the afternoon preparing a symbolic gesture for the ceremony. Sat in our tight circle, we each approached the middle in turn where Carlos had laid 13 pieces of coloured cloth: yellow, red, white, black (to represent each of the different races on this earth) and green for the land. We then took one coloured square, a small pinch of organic tobacco which is considered a sacred plant in Mesoamerican tradition, and placed it inside, setting an sending an intention to a place, person, or collective that needs it. Once you had done this, we approached a very long length of red string and tied our pouch into the string to create a long, winding line of colour and meaning. Every single individual put their heart into that task and the magnitude of the energy created and sent around the world in that hour was magical. I can only pray and hope some of it was received by those who need it most.

As night fell, we reentered the Shala, which had a circular rug placed in the centre of the room adorned with roses, other flowers, candles and small offerings, incense etc. I’ve never personally had an alter for my yoga practise but when Carlos shared the significance of creating one, I liked the idea of it. In my head I had almost dismissed the word itself as it conjured up traditional religious connotations of attending chapel at school, oe praying to a God I don’t resonate with. However, an alter can simply be about giving and receiving energy for yourself. Carlos gave the comparison that its like a personal bank account, you add items or give thoughts to the space as and when you feel like it, you keep it tidy and fresh, for example if there are flowers or incense it remains a clean space, so that one day if you are feeling low and need to take some of that energy back, you can do so.

The ceremony began with each individual approaching the centre to say their full name, how they were feeling that day, and to (once again) set an intention for the ceremony. Intention work is so powerful and by simply feeling or saying WHY you are engaging with an activity can shift the act and create purpose in your actions and therefore meaning in your life. It once again created a safe, open space with everyone being honest and clear with where they are at personally. After receiving your mug of steamy spiced cacao, you light a candle and place it opposite you around the circle. The circle was complete with flickering light and full to the brim with personal and collective intentions. One of my favourite things about travelling, pushing your boundaries and being in situations like these is meeting other people who are on a similar path to you. It can be scary to think about getting off the well beaten path of city life, but here I feel surrounded by others who don’t fit the traditional mould, who are seeking a more purposeful schedule or to build a life that feels right and authentic to their needs. I feel comforted and calm to hear stories from people I’ve never met which resonate deeply with my story, and what I’m trying to do.

On our day off, I spent a very special day with three of the girls on the course. We wandered, we shopped, we swam, we talked (a lot), we opened, we bonded. The kind of tight bond of sisterhood between likeminded women on similar paths, sharing the same experiences. It’s incredible how you can go from not knowing someone to opening your heart to create connections this powerful in a matter of days. It’s beautiful what will come to you if you remain vulnerable and open to it.

The rest of the course was filled with more new experiences. We went to ecstatic dance and danced our little hearts out underneath a giant sprawling banyan tree. We learned so much more about shamanic tradition and Carlos offered us to engage in a couple of rituals performed regularly in his culture. On one afternoon before the second temazcal he offered us some ‘sananga’ drops, made from the roots and bark of the tabernaemontana tree. The purpose of the drops is to sharpen your eyesight, and we immediately had the effect of all colours becoming brighter, like a gentle filter had been slid into your vision to make the world pop.

We also tried rapé, a type of tobacco and ground up plants that has been used for thousands of years for sacred and spiritual practices. Very different from the tobacco you smoke, this fine light coloured powder is used for shamanic practise and ceremonies and is administered through a long piece of bamboo into your nose. Before it is administered, you should have an intention, a question you’ve been seeking the answer to, before you enter a deep meditative state. The whole ceremony felt like an ancient ritual steeped in intentionality. Used to cleanse and purify the mind and body, you immediately feel calm and relaxed, with a tidal wave of awake and alertness flooding your mind. I moved to the corner with my meditation bolster and sunk into a bubble of my own presence. My mind relaxed and felt quiet, my body tensions dissipated, and I dropped into a state of acute awareness. Light tingling sensations across my body, and a clarity I felt I had been seeking since I landed in India. I had the overwhelmingly calming feeling to trust my instincts, and the reassuring feeling that the path I have dived into is the right one. Rapé can have a purgative effect allowing the body to release what it no longer needs, many of the group felt the build up of a lot of mucus and had to blow their nose, or cough to let it go. I felt the simple but beautiful feeling of being simply at home in my body, at home in my mind.

We had 2 more temazcal sessions, both wildly different from the first one. The second time we went in, unbeknown to us Carlos lead the session on our “fire” day in a way that let everyone loose to shine as individuals. I found the energy intensely overwhelming and wasn’t able to find solace or connect with how I was feeling because the external noise was so strong. It felt like we were all instruments and rather than playing in a band as we had the first time, we were all playing our own tune, out of sync and into chaos.

The last one was done at 7am with the sunrise, which was a whole other experience in itself. The heat was intensely hot, almost like it was searing your skin, moving the stuck energies along your body and setting them free via the vibrations of our vocal cords chanting the Native American songs together. Being able to see everyone’s face unlike the previous two brought a different layer to the experience, people perhaps more aware of themselves and the space they took up in that circle of trust. It was the perfect start to our last day of the course, allowing us to pause, bind together, and integrate all the feelings and emotions of the last 12 days.

From there we went into our final assessment, flowing through each others Mandala Vinyasa flows, getting to know each other even more deeply and intimately through the beautiful dance and individuality of each sequence.

As the past 2 weeks comes to an end, I am feeling all the feelings! I know that this depth of learning about Mandala Yoga was the perfect way to finish my 4 months of travel on, equipping me with a tool or spark of new knowledge I feel hungry to share. This nervous excitement of returning is like a spiders web of anticipation growing inside of me, spindling each new layer of thoughts and opportunities at every waking moment. I’ve always been someone who trusts my intuition, and the last few days my mind has been flighty, creating scenarios and schedules in my head for what comes next before I’ve even stepped on the plane. Going back to London with no job or work lined up is liberating, but there’s also a void of worry I am trying my best to rename as opportunity.

What will I do with my space and time?

Chuffed certified Mandala teacher with my certificate, taken by my dear friend Gregor.

If you’ve read on this far, thanks for staying with me.

If you think someone you know would enjoy these words, why not share it with them? If you have any questions about the course, my experience, India, or anything - please don’t hesitate to reach out.

100 hours of Mandala + Shamanism in Goa

Kerala: Fort Kochi